For Better for Worse: For women (Part 1)

At the current rate with which marriages in Nigeria are failing, it won’t be long before we have a higher population of divorcees than we have single men and women. While growing up most of us knew both parents, some were unlucky and had just one due to divorce or untimely demise. A Nigerian of then did not believe in divorce as a solution to their problems, our fathers and mothers believed in thrashing out their differences no matter how long it took. Although, most people actually have genuine reasons for divorce which would range from domestic abuse, emotional and mental abuse/torture among other reasons. Well, some of these women bring this upon themselves no offense intended, but most women don’t even have good reasons for getting married, all the want is a flashy life and an already made man. Truly no woman likes to suffer or should suffer but what happened to those years when people courted for at least six months to one year before thinking of tying the knot, the problem with us nowadays is that we rush into everything and in the same way rush out.

Marriage is an institution in which your partner should be carefully selected in other to avoid being rusticated. There are a lot of reasons which leads to the increase in the number of failed marriages, I will briefly talk about a few of them. Some reasons include

•    Lack of Knowledge: Knowledge is Power. If you don’t know your spouse enough or at all this could lead to an end in the marriage. When dating you should try to know partner well enough to know if you can cope with his bad side, likes, dislikes, background, family, and practically every detail of the other his life to know if you can stay with that person for the rest of your life.

•    Pressure: This is mostly a problem must ladies have, the face a lot of pressure for virtually all areas of their life. All my friends are getting married I should do the same, my younger sister can’t marry before me, babe! when is he putting a ring on it? marry and leave my house these are some of the examples of pressure a lady faces almost every day but this should not be the reason why you hurry into a marriage that might end you.

•    Money: Hmm! this is responsible for at least 50% of failed marriages. Every lady wants to marry an already made man, a man who has a house on the Island, Maitama, and Banana Island. Most ladies want posh weddings, they want to be seen on BellaNaija, use the most expensive phones, wear designer clothes and shoes, this pushes them to say yes to someone they barely know because the want an easy life, don’t get me wrong it’s not bad but it does not end well for everyone. Some ladies are lucky and meet their prince charming while others don’t. You should not choose a spouse based on wealth your prince charming might be someone who is still a work in progress.

•    Social Media Craze: This might sound funny but it truly a reason for failed marriages. Most women accept proposals just because they want to post it on Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. They want to take the best pre-wedding photos and show off but they fail to ask themselves what happens post wedding???

 There are a lot more reasons for failed marriages, some of them include comparing your marriage to other people’s marriage, not being content with what you have, infidelity, bad friends, making your problems public, boring marriages, abuse, marrying him for his looks, and domestic violence among other things. Ladies planning to marry should ask themselves these questions:

•    Am I ready?

•    Can I cope with his flaws?

•    Why do you want to marry him?

•    Would he help me grow?

•    Do I love him enough to spend the rest of my life with him?

•    Is this the person I want to start a family with?

•    Can I submit to him?

If you are able to answer all these questions honestly then I guess you would have your answer. Please note I know we are very religious people in Nigeria so I would advise you put your proposed spouse in prayer and hope for the best.
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